Zombieland Rules for Thriving in the Church

Thursday night I was at a lecture conducted by Marcus Borg and others on progressive Christianity. While nothing new was learned by me, I resonated with what was being said on a deeply personal level.
One young pastor responded to what Marcus Borg said about the church and I was deeply inspired. Her name is Nadia Bolz-Weber. The first thing you notice is the tattoos all over her arms, almost sleeved but not quite. The second thing you can't help but notice is her powerful voice which throws out challenge coupled with inspiration, wrapped in a package of sarcasm. It is evident that she loves the church. It is evident that she loves her denomination. It is evident that she is a world-changer.
She made me laugh as she described herself running as the Lutheran church crumbled behind her. I believed the audience could visualize scenes of those action movies where world destruction is happening and the hero is running like hell. Isn't that how it feels to be a pastor these days!
The church as we know it is crumbling. Some are clinging to that last object of recollection of the world as it was. Some are turning back toward the crumbling building to see if they can save those who refuse to leave it. Some are running like hell to save themselves. And others are running as fast as they can, integrity and truth in hand, so that we all can survive.
We all react differently to the communal and individual stresses in our lives. At times we all play these different roles in the dance of life. Sometimes we cannot help but cling to what was. Other times we run like hell to save ourselves because the destruction is so evident and so overwhelming. Often we try to be heroes saving others from their own destruction, risking ourselves and our integrity in the process. And we might, find ourselves running with integrity and truth toward an unknown future, scared that we will be swallowed up, sure that what we are doing is right.
I am done trying to save others from their own destruction and risking my integrity in the process. I have been tempted to run for my own survival. But it is time for me to run with integrity and truth towards that unknown future. I know the Spiritual Zombies are on my trail trying to pull be down and consume my brains, making me into one of them. So I need to learn to run and I need to know how to survive. Here are the rules. Thanks Zombieland for the education!

Rule 1 Cardio--Be sure you are fit to run like hell, so take the time to sustain and care for self.
Rule 2: Double-Tap--Make sure the dead, stays dead and do not let it arise to consume you.
Rule 3: Beware of the Bathrooms--Or any building....that may pull you under for it's own needs.
Rule 4: Wear Seatbelts--Make sure your ready for sudden stops and turns along the way.
Rule 5: No attachments-- to Zombies....you will need to leave behind those who are diseased

Rule 6: The "Skillet"--Use whatever you have on hand to survive--then you can travel light
Rule 7: Travel light--Don't take along the sacred cows--way too heavy!
Rule 8: Get a Kick Ass Partner--AMEN!! Don't try this alone.
Rule 12: Bounty Paper Towels--If you have to absorb anything, do so and then throw it away!
Rule 15: Bowling Ball--take out your frustrations by doing something fun once in awhile
Rule 17: Don't be a Hero/Be a Hero--know when to fight and when to run.
Rule 18: Limber up--remain flexible....remember the dead and undead are stiff.
Rule 21: Avoid Strip Clubs--Don't get distracted or lured in to something that seems good.
Rule 22: When in Doubt, know Your Way Out--always know where the door to freedom lies
Rule 29: The Buddy System--Rely on one another....watch each other's back
Rule 31: Check the Back Seat--somethings lay hidden and waiting to pounce
Rule 32: Enjoy the Little Things--eat the damn twinkie, you only live once, so live!
Rule 33: Swiss Army Knife--Have multi-functional tools in order to survive
Rule 48: Hygiene--Life is messy, so make sure you take care of yourself first.

A Wake Up

This day I no longer have my mother to call on the phone. There are not just miles between us there are worlds. Perhaps that has been true most of my life. The twists and turns of our relationship have never been healed. And now she is gone.

And because of that tumultuous relationship, I worry about my own mother/daughter relationship. I worry that I fail my daughter. Not in the same ways my mother failed me, but in different ways.

Sometimes I can't hear her in her silence. Sometimes I cannot calm the fears that reside within her. Sometimes I just don't know when to hang on and when to let go. She and I are different and the same. I know that she needs to be held, because I do too when I'm lonely, or scared, or sad. I know that words just aren't enough for her sometimes, that she sees beyond words to body language and sincerity. And yet I see too, how words are a valuable commodity to her as well. I fail her though. I know she likes predictability and often I am inconsistent. I know she likes calmness, and I am intense. I know she likes to know plans and I am horrible at planning.

Today, when she woke up she came downstairs and the first words out of her mouth were "Happy Mother's Day!" She said these words with a sparkle in her eyes, then she promptly plopped down on the couch to wake up some more.

I laid beside her on the couch holding her. And I said,

"Thank you for making me a mother."

"But I didn't make you a mother, Thom did."

"You made me a different kind of mother. You made me a cuddly and quiet mother."

I nuzzled into her and held tighter. Again I said, "Thank you, Mikayla" She beamed.


Sometimes I get it right. And sometimes I am just the mother Mikayla needs. I know that I won't always love her perfectly, but these moments remind me that I can be the best mother I know how to be. And so my hope is to have the grace and love to become what we both need.

Easter Illuminati

It's been such a long time since I've written for me. I find it refreshing. Not that I don't write for me all the time. My sermons are usually a message I need to hear. But it's nice not to have to consider how others will interpret my writing.

I write here on the blog, but I also write in a personal journal and a prayer journal. In those journals I can be truly free to write all the ugliness, shame, and sadness and beautiful things like love and grace and forgiveness in a truly intimate way.

I used to write a prayer journal every day. I would read a set of Biblical passages and see what was speaking to me and write on it, usually in the form of prayer. It was Lectio Divina before I even knew what that was. Unfortunately sometime during seminary I lost that practice. I lost God too. Maybe the two coincided. Actually, I'm pretty sure they coincided.

The good news is, I have restored my relationship with God, and with Lectio. And those writings and prayers are helping me restore, redeem, and even resurrect the relationship with myself and others.

And like THE GOOD NEWS, resurrection offers a new body, unlike the one before. A new relationship with myself, with those I love, and with God. Relationships even better than before, healthier, trusting, and full of life. It brings me hope and promise.

Perhaps that is why Easter season lasts forty days........a completeness.

Gracious and Loving God, thank you for starting this transformation, rebirth and resurrection in me this Easter season. And though you and I KNOW that it will take longer than 40 days....I look forward to the journey and to the new habits that are being formed this Easter. Amen.