Mom's Eulogy

My mother had a great smile and a hearty laugh. The kind of laugh where you knew that she was in the room. These are some of the things I inherited from her. People say to me, I knew you were here because I heard you laugh. And that laughter was present throughout her life, right up until the end. She had hard times we all know, but she always was quick with a laugh….making someone else break into a smile or hearty laughter………laughing at herself to lessen the seriousness of the moment.
When my mother was undergoing chemotherapy, my kids, husband, and I came to visit her. After greeting her at the door with her carefully placed do-rag as she called it we brought our bags to the back bedroom. There awaited a surprise for us. Growing up my brother had a life-sized bust of Spiderman. It was red plastic with prominent spidey-eyes. As we entered the room we came face to face with Spidey and his carefully placed and coiffed blonde wig. It struck me as funny. My mom….famous for her red hair in high school, hated to lose that wonderful hair because of Chemo. She would gain it all back after her treatment. Still red….naturally red, free from any dye. But in that time of loss….personal loss. She found a way to control that bit of sadness with her great senses of humor. Taking the hair, the fake hair that didn’t quite fit her and bequeathing it to her bald companion Spidey who needed it more than her.
In one of the last conversations I had with my mother, she had plans for escaping out of her ICU bed at Florida Medical Center. She knew she had to go down three floors…..but it made her laugh at herself to know she didn’t know what to do next. And I think we both envisioned her in that backless gown standing in the lobby she had worked in for 20 years. So in that serious time, that time when we both knew my mother was dying, she broke that tension with our great laughs echoing through the phone line. That is what she left me with….that was the last joke I was privileged to hear, to share.
When the times were rough and hard….the sad times, the difficult times…..laughter prevailed for mom comforting her and those around her. That is the gift of joy. Joy isn’t like happiness. It doesn’t come and go….it is always there. Through the good and bad. It brings hope….that there is always room for lightness and laughter even through the most difficult times. This joy is the incredible gift I have received from her. It is the gift many of us had the pleasure to witness.
And so in this time where we mourn our loss….of this great woman who touched all of us in special ways, there remains joy…..and the resounding laughter and smiles present in our memories of her. And hope, that there remain many more laughs in heaven above for all of us when we get to be with her again.
Gracious God, as we remember Carol, Desi, Essie, mom and sister, we know that you blessed us with the gift of laughter, joy, and hope through this beautiful woman. And we thank you for the time we had with her for she lavished us with those gifts you had given. In this time of mourning bring us that joy she taught us, that she would want to give us. Creator of life, who brings love and joy through laughter, we thank you for mom’s life, and we thank you for our lives touched by her. Amen.