Unraveling the stitches

Grief upon grief....so much sadness, there aren't enough tears.

Tears for my mother....for all her pain, for all her sadness. For all that she wished she could be. For all the sacrifice she made to make others happy while she fell deeper into lowness and anger.

Tears for what could've been. For choices that I made to compromise. And now I hurt others, hurt myself, loving what could have been, that wasn't meant for me. Knowing I have caused damage to people I love.

Grief upon grief. Bitter tears and little hope. Chances taken that I could become the daughter my mother hoped for, to live the life she dreamed of. And now, she is gone, and my life unravels thread by thread, the picture of my life dissolving from my eyes. That picture was never knotted, never firm, always ready to be unraveled. And so it does. There the canvas is bared
to be threaded again.

This time will there be knots to hold everything in place? A firm foundation on which to build a life?

But then there are threads that can never be pulled. The remainders, firmly knotted, interwoven within the canvas. There remains the foundation that has been created, on which to build. Nurture those threads. And grieve for the others, as the work begins anew.